Before Show Chaos
by AnimeFan-Artemis
Summary: Shounen ai (yaoi) (gay love implied) We see them during the show, but does anyone really know what goes on before the show? Glimpse of the Yugioh cast before the camera starts rolling. (Ch2 added)
1. Ch1 Before Show Chaos

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, just this funny idea I did when I was bored.  
  
AnimeFan: Ok...don't ask. I was bored, and I just watch Digimon Frontier so I have the theme song stuck in my head...I like the theme song... ^___^ I like Taksuya and Koji to, they'd make a cute couple. Er...anyway. This isn't about Digimon! This is about Yugioh! Yes, story info...  
  
Title: Before Show Chaos  
Genre: Humor/General  
Rating: R  
Content: Implied Shounen ai (boy/boy love), humor, occ-ness, character bashing, language  
Most brought out Pairings: Yami/Seto, Seth/Joey, Honda/Otogi  
  
Summary: We see them during the show, but does anyone really know what goes on before the show? One-shot glimpse of the Yugioh cast before the camera starts rolling.  
  
AnimeFan: This does have gay relationships in them so if you don't like that, tough. You flame me for them, and I'll just laugh my ass off since you hate them so much but took the time to read this anyway. This is ment for the enjoyment of my fans who love yaoi and humor.  
  
Warning: In this short story, the cast are actors and the Yugioh world is just a show. The characters are portrayed as they really in their world outside of acting out Yugioh. ^^  
  
Yugi - Is Yugi Motuo in the show.  
Yami - Is Yami Yugi in the show.  
Ryou - Is Ryou Bakura in the show.  
Bakura - Is Yami Bakura in the show.  
Seto - Is Seto Kaiba in the show.  
Seth - Is Seto's yami in the show.  
Mokuba - Is Mokuba Kaiba in the show.  
Otogi - Is Duke Devalon in the show.  
Honda - Is Tristan Taylor in the show.  
Tea - Is Tea Gardener in the show.  
Jou - Is Joey Wheeler in the show.   
Malik - Is Malik Ishtar in the show.  
  


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Director: (walks in wearing a director's outfit) All right, people! Today we need to finish up a scene from yesterday since you all put up such a damn arguement over it last night.  
  
Everyone groans and slumps into their cushy beanbags.  
  
Otogi: (Is sitting in Honda's lap) Do we have to? We all hate those scenes and you know it!  
  
Director: I don't care! You're getting paid, so just suck it up and get ready. We'll be finishing the scene where Kaiba and Yami Yugi are dueling at Pegasus' castle during Duelist Kingdom.  
  
Yugi: (groans) Let me guess, to the make up room so I can sit for three hours while those stupid morons die my beautiful blonde hair three different colors, apply gallons of hairgel, and spike it just so I look like Yami! Why couldn't my character have my hair and not Yami's?!  
  
Yami: HEY! (fists his hands in his naturally spiky, three-color hair and scowls at the boy) Leave my damn hair alone, you prick!!  
  
Yugi: Smart ass!  
  
Yami: Bite sized runt!!  
  
Seto: (is raising his hand in the air looking like a sweet and innocent school boy)   
  
Director: (sigh) What is it Seto-chan? And you don't have to raise you're hand to talk all the time. You know we are not in school.   
  
Seto: (puts his hand down and blushes) I'm sorry, but miss director person...do I really have to do this scene? I have to insult Yami again! Why couldn't I have played a character that wasn't so mean...like Ryou's character? Everyone hates me!!  
  
Fangirls: WE DON'T HATE YOU, SETO-CHAN!! ~^____________^~  
  
Yami: (jumps up from his seat, whips out an M-16, and glares at the fangirls just daring them to try and touch HIS Seto)   
  
Everyone else: (sweatdrop)  
  
Seto: (blushes and looks down at his feet shyly)  
  
Everyone: AWWEEE!! KAWAII! ~^-^~  
  
Yami: (pulls Seto possessively into his arms and shoots murderous glances at everyone) BACK! My brunette! MINE! MINE!!! E-HE HE HE HEEEE!!!  
  
Tea: Where is my mocha latte? I thought I ordered a fucking mocha latte!!!  
  
Ryou: Oh go mocha latte your ass, bitch!  
  
(cat fight...)  
  
Tea: X___x#  
  
Ryou: x___X  
  
Bakura: (sits innocently in his beanbag playing patty cake with Malik)  
  
Malik: ^^ Patty cake...patty cake...baker's man...bake me a cake as fast as you can! ...  
  
Jou: Could someone tell me why the hell I have to act like some dumb ass idiot!? This is an insult to my intelligence and social status!!!  
  
Seth: Yeah! This is a waste of my Jou-koi's brilliance! He could be discovering a cure for AIDS instead of being here acting like a dense blonde in jeans...though he is very sexy that way... ~^.^~  
  
Mokuba: HENTAI!! You hentai!! (points accusingly at Seth)  
  
Bakura: I don't wanna be here! I'm missing my Digimon Frontier show!  
  
Seto: Damnit! So am I!  
  
Bakura and Seto: (sings) Look to the past, as we head for the future! To reclaim the digital world! Look in ourselves, and trust one another! We live by the lessons we've learned! As we work for one solution, with our Spirit Evolution!!! Digimon! Forever, united as one! Digimon, together our battles are won!   
  
Ryou: ENOUGH WITH THE GOD DAMN SINGING!!  
  
Malik: You're both screwed up, Pokemon is the show that rocks!!!  
  
Otogi: EEP!! (curls into a ball and starts rocking back and forth in Honda's lap, muttering something about evil and glancing around looking paranoid)  
  
Seth: What the hell is wrong with him?  
  
Honda: (hugs Otogi protectly and strokes his hair) Oh, last summer we went to the anime expo and he got attacked by a guy in a Pikachu costume. He's never been the same since.   
  
Bakura: (looks understandingly at Otogi and pats him on the shoulder) Is ok, next time I'll just sick my Impmon on Pikachu.  
  
Yugi: (snicker) Now I'd love to see that, Impmon vs Pikachu. Or how about Jigglypuff vs BurningGreymon.  
  
Seto: There won't be any blood, will there?   
  
Yugi: Of course, lots of blood and gore. (smiles in a deranged way)  
  
Ryou: Hell yeah! Blood!! (also smiles in a deranged way)  
  
Everyone else: (scoots far away from the two screwy teens)  
  
Jou: And these two are supposed to be the two cutest and most innocent good guys in the Yugioh show?  
  
Yami: Just how did Yugi and Ryou get to play the parts of Yugi Motuo and Ryou Bakura anyway?  
  
Honda: Umm, they're really good actors???  
  
Otogi: Evil...  
  
Director: (sighs and rubs the temple of her forhead) Are we all done now?  
  
The cast: NO!  
  
Director: GET TO THE STAGE NOW!! (lashes a whip at them menacingly)  
  
Seto: 9___9  
  
Yami: Oo'  
  
Jou: -____-  
  
Yugi: _ \\damn hair//  
  
Bakura, Seth, and Malik: T____T \\we don't get to be in the episode!!//  
  
Tea: x___X#  
  
Otogi: @__@ \\Evil...//  
  
Honda: O_O'  
  
Ryou: XD \\BWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!//  
  
Mokuba: ~^.^~  
  
Pegasus: ___o___ \\snore//  
  
Director: How'd Pegasus get in here? o.O (sigh)  
  


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AnimeFan: All right, I admit it. I drank to much Orange Soda. ^^ Just a funny, random, chaotic, personality twisting one-shot.   
  
  
  


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	2. Ch2a Chaos in A Hotel

Disclaimer: Don't own Yugioh. Nope. Don't own anything, actually.  
  
AnimeFan: I blame this chapter on my reviewers, orange soda, cherry covered and chocolate crusted no-bake cheesecake, apple pie, and the Cherry Blossom Festival web site. Why that web site? Cause I'm having a Card Captor Sakura moment and they started ranting about dubbed episodes of the show. Thus...I give you this chapter!  
  


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Weird Voice: This episode is brought to you buy, Rants! Rants...We know!  
  
Seth: (stands on the hotel balcony's railing butt naked) Wooohoooo!!! I'm king of the world!!! ^^  
  
Jou: All right! Who the hell gave Seth pepsi?  
  
Everyone points to Yugi and Ryou.  
  
Yugi: WHAT?  
  
Ryou: Fuck you people...  
  
Honda: Well, while Jou busies himself with trying to pry Seth off the railing and into the hotel to get some clothes on him, our show is coming on.  
  
Everyone but Seth, Jou, and Seto (who is currently absent) stares at the one couch and one armchair.  
  
Everyone:   
  
(Mad Dash)  
  
Yami: OW OW OW!!!! LET GO OF THE HAIR!!!!  
  
Honda: Fuck, Ryou! Get your dick out of my face!!  
  
Ryou: No! GET YOUR FACE OUT OF MY DICK!!!!  
  
Otogi: (whaps Honda across the head) YOU CHEATING PERVERT! How dare you! Get your damn face out of his lap!!!!! I can't believe this! You're giving another guy a blow job, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!!  
  
Malik: Oooooooooo!!!! ^o^ Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!  
  
Yugi: Hell yeah! I'm Steve!!! (puts on Jerry Springer shirt and sunglasses)  
  
Tea: Who the hell's hand is squeezing my breasts!?!?!?!  
  
Bakura: O.o I was wondering what that squishy thing in my hand was.  
  
WHAP!!!  
  
Bakura: Ow... X____x  
  
Mokuba: Eeeewwww! You actually touched those! (sticks tongue out) Make sure to wash your hands before eating anything...  
  
Yami: Bakura, quick! Answer the one question that has haunted millions of our fans for centuries!!  
  
Bakura: (has a big bump on his head) What?  
  
Yami: Are they real??  
  
WHAP!!!  
  
After several moments of more mangle, tangle, and Tea's purse hitting people, everyone finally situated themselves.  
  
Bakura, Honda, and Malik: T____T We got the floor...  
  
Mokuba: (was smart and pulled out a beanbag he bought that morning) Why the hell did Yugi and Ryou get the couch?  
  
Yugi: Why the hell not! (gives them all a deadly glare, daring them to challenge his authority)  
  
Mokuba: Eeep! No reason! ^^'  
  
Ryou: (rests feet on Bakura's shoulder) I must say, Bakura, you make a great foot rest! (smug smirk)  
  
Bakura: -___- As long as you're comfy.  
  
Yami: (smiles supiorerly from the armchair) A proper seat for a pharaoh.  
  
Tea: Oh, get over yourself!  
  
Yami: Shut up, bitch! It's not my fault no one would lay you without a blindfold and ten shots of pure whiskey!  
  
Tea: WHY YOU!!  
  
(cat fight...)  
  
Tea: X_______X  
  
Yami: ^-^   
  
Jou: (walks in dragging a half dressed Seth) What the hell happened to her? (points to Tea)  
  
Mokuba: She picked a fight with Yami.  
  
Yami: Anymore questions?  
  
Jou: Nope. (sits down and forcefully holds a bouncy Seth in his lap)  
  
Seth: POKEMON! Gotta fuck them all!!! ~^___^~  
  
Otogi: Eeeeyaaaa!!! EVIL!!!! (starts rocking back and forth in Honda's lap)  
  
Honda: -___- Not again...  
  
Yami: Didn't you get that fixed??  
  
Jou: GAHHH!!!! NO! NOT THAT!!! EVIL!!! (also starts rocking back and forth)  
  
Everyone but Otogi, Jou, and Yugi: O____O?  
  
Seth: (falls off Jou's lap giggling) Joey-chan went to da vet, and he learnded what it meant when they fixed them animals! Zin Yugi threatened to have him fixed! (more giggles)  
  
Everyone: Ooooooo! ^^ (the true date of the age of enlightenment)  
  
Jou: Evil! @_@  
  
Honda: I've been taking Otogi to a pychiatrist...but he's still not quite over the Pika--er--the P. I. K. A. C. H. U. thing.  
  
Bakura: P. I. Wha? OH! Pikachu! I get it   
now! ^^  
  
Honda: Gah!!! BAKURA!! (glare)  
  
Otogi: EVIL!!!! EVIL, EVIL, EVIL!!!  
  
Bakura: Whoopsies. ^^'  
  
Seto: (walks in wearing a kiss the cook apron and carrying a tray with a pile of steamy hot cookies) I just baked cookies to eat while watching the show! Anyone want one? ^^  
  
Everyone stops what they are doing and stares at the cute brunette.  
  
Tea: (hearts in eyes) AWEEE!! HE'S SO CUTE!! I WANT A SETO!! ^^  
  
Jou: (whistles) Seth, you don't mind if we consider a threesome do you?  
  
Seth: Ze incy bincy spider, cwaled up the Yami's crouch! The incy bincy spider, nawed off the Yami's...  
  
Yami: Care to continue that? (glares at Seth)  
  
Seth just giggles hyperly.  
  
Bakura: What's a threesome?  
  
Malik: You so naive, Bakura-chan! It's when three people screw each other in the bed.  
  
Bakura: How the hell would you do that???  
  
Mokuba: You don't wanna know...trust me.  
  
Yugi: (is eyeing Seto up and down) Sorry, he's to cute for my tastes. However, if he were more like his Yugioh show persona...then I might consider it.  
  
Ryou: Are we ever gonna watch the damn show?   
  
Honda: Coookiiiieeee... (drool)  
  
Otogi: Evil!  
  
Yami: (looks at everyone in the room frantically)   
  
Jealous Boyfriend Meter (JBM) = Min.--------Max.--------------Warning level------------ D-day  
  
Yami: (tackles Seto and cookies go flying) MIIIINNNNNEEEEEE!!! MINE, MINE, MINE! NOT YOURS!!! MINE!!! EH HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!! (pulls out his trusty M-16 and points it at them all) MINE!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: O____o ...Okay...  
  
Yugi: Blame it on video games. That's what everyone else does...  
  
Ryou: DAMN that Grand Theft Auto!!  
  
Malik: (eyes the vacant armchair)  
  
Yami: (notices Malik's stare and points the gun specifically at him) DON'T EVEN TRY IT! (grabs Seto around the waist and sidewinds to the armchair, sitting down and pulling the confused brunette into his lap)  
  
Malik: Asshole...  
  
Honda: Um...the show is on.  
  
Everyone's attention is conveniently returned to the TV screen and peace settles, thus proving that without TV our world would break into mini wars that would soon became large scale wars. Then the aliens of some far reaching galaxy would see that we are weakened and they will come and harvest us so that they may feed their young. Yet, by a twist of fate, a small argument will take place in the holding cell amongst the human slaves and will draw the aliens into it...thus a war breaks out in this far reaching galaxy. Because of the aliens advanced technology, everyone would be wiped out and the remaining survivors will either die of disease or eat each other till there is nothing left. THEN THE PLANTS WOULD FINALLY RULE THE WORLD AGAIN!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Seth: (walks over to where AnimeFan-Artemis is sitting at her computer and pokes her) You gonna watch the show with us or convince the world that your insane?  
  
AnimeFan-Artemis: Aha! But I am insane, my sexy-ass dark spirit! I just act sane to protect my insanity! (quote is copywrited by me, so don't steal it! ^^) Besides, I must continue to observe your species in their natural habitat, typing everything down so that other people in the world may know what all of you do when not airing the show.  
  
Seth: Oh, well, ok. If that is what floats your boat. (goes back over and snuggles into Jou's lap)  
  
Seto: Yami-chan? Who is that funny man, I don't remember him.  
  
Yami: That's because he's not on Yugioh. Yugi! Turn the TV up!  
  
Yugi: Why the hell should I?!  
  
Yami: Cause if you don't, I'll style your hair like mine! Only it'll be permanent!  
  
Yugi: (for the first time outside of the show, looks scared) FINE! Fine, three level notches up sir! (turns volume up)  
  
Funny Guy on the TV Screen: Due to unfortunate circumstances, our twelve hour Yugioh marathon must be canceled. However, to make up for this unfortunate turn of events, we will air twelve hours of the dubbed version of Yugioh instead.  
  
Everyone: Oo!  
  
To be continued...  
  


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AnimeFan: I know, I know. Some self-insertion there. But I couldn't resist. ^^ Oh no, what will happen now that the gang must watch the dubbed version of Yugioh instead of the normal version? Especially since they've never seen the dubbed version of their show! Dum, dum, dummmm...  
  
  



End file.
